This
story depicts the inner life of a highly conceited but highly deceived college
girl who has created herself into a boisterous and obnoxious person. The girl
first appears to want the attention and affection that comes along with being a
popular party girl, but it is obvious through her interactions with people
around her that she repels more than she attracts. By the end of the tale, the
girl has come to realize that she has become someone out of pretense and has
forgotten who her real friends are. She resigns her aspirations of being the
crazy popular girl and decides to settle down and get her life back in order.
I liked how much of the
characterization in this piece was done through interaction rather than
description. I got to see how
obnoxious and generally deplorable the girl was rather than simply being told. I
also thought it was both funny and creative to have the story written from such
a skewed point of view while still preserving the plot of the work seamlessly. I
think a little work could be done to make this skewed perspective a little more
subtle and consequently more powerful, but I really like what it did for the
story. The other main suggestion I would have for this piece would be to work
on the ending. As it stands now, I don’t believe that something as
inconsequential as a guy this girl does not even know not showing up for a spur
of the moment lunch date would thrust her into a place of life reevaluation and
remorse. Her obnoxiousness is so poignant throughout the whole story, so I
think there needs to be a more dramatic instance to send her over the edge or
else alter the dramatic change to something more understated. I think there is a
lot of good material here for a compelling story and there are several things
working for it already, but a little more attention to the ending would seal
the deal for me.
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