J.J. Nelson "A Dream"

“A Dream” is a story following an overweight and slightly depressed college student, Gabe. The central conflict of the piece appears to be Gabe’s inner conflict with himself about his past and his discontent with the stoner lifestyle that he is currently leading. It would seem Gabe had only known one love in his life, one he no longer has. We are not told much about this mysterious love-girl, but she appears to be blonde and haunting from what I can gather. The plot is primarily advanced through mental monologues that take place in Gabe’s head. I liked the content of a lot of these sections, but I wanted to see more of it played out in the outside world. If this story were made into a silent movie, little would happen outside of the dream and Gabe smoking weed. I don’t think there needs to be anything dramatic necessarily, but a little something to attach Gabe to the world around him might be nice.

            When I tried to determine what the story actually was in this piece, I had trouble coming up with a concrete idea. It is obvious that Gabe is unhappy and wants to change, but it appears that he does little effect any such change. Granted, he does get out of bed at the end and finally do some writing, showing he is on the right path, but I did not quite get the justification for this change. I’m all about some subtlety, but in this case I was left wondering how the memory of his lover finally got him off his butt. I think with just a little touch of explanation, this can be cleared right up. I really liked the imagery you used, especially in the dreams; it showed a lot of creativity and made the story interesting.