Lauren Sims "New Coach"

To me, this story was about a girl figuring out what she really wants in life through the harsh treatment of a rather unreasonable cheerleading coach.  When the story begins, Kaylee herself identifies the very things she seems to want: “a scholarship” and a “national championship” for cheerleading. The new coach that arrives appears to be the exact person Kaylee needs to push her to the top, but the story unfolds to reveal the irony of the coach’s role in Kaylee’s life. Instead of driving her to reach her goals, he actually ends up being the very reason she gives them up. Kaylee’s character arc over the course of the story is a bit unique from conventional characters in the way that her decision to change her wants comes about forcibly rather than naturally. Rather than having some experiencing and deciding on some level to change, Kaylee is thrust into a situation where she must either jeopardize her bodily health or give up her aspirations of cheerleading greatness. Granted, in real life there would be nothing preventing Kaylee from going to another squad once she was healed, but in the context of this story, I felt a certain note of finality in the ending.

            The conflict throughout the piece primarily originates between the relationship between the coach and everybody else. From telling the girls about how he is going to put them through conditioning hell, to telling the parents they can no longer watch practices, the audience gets a very clear picture that this guy is not someone very concerned with making friends. I thought the characterization of the coach was done very well in this piece because by the end I know I thought of him as the biggest jerk in the world. I would have liked to have a little more insight into the inner thought life of Kaylee though. Most of the time, emotional distress is simply summarized by Kaylee referring to the coach’s “put downs and emotional abuse.” I wanted to know more; I wanted to know how Kaylee was responding to the emotional abuse on the inside. All in all, this was an engaging piece that really made we sympathize with the girls of this squad and hate the coach, making me feel engaged in the story. If some grammatical issues can be cleared up and a little more insight put in, I think this will be an even better piece.